He had only been with me for six months - he came just after the sudden and unexpected death of my ex partner - but in that short time he achieved so much. Through correct feeding he lost almost all the excess weight he was carrying and went from being unable to get into my van without help to jumping in and out on his own, and although slower in pace than Sophie and Poppie he was still able to go for fairly long walks in the countryside near home. He was a very placid and patient dog and would stand for ages while I brushed him; he loved children and adults alike and was always happy for people to make a fuss of him when we were out. He went camping with me twice in the last six months, loved his walks along the beach at California in September and enjoyed several dips in the sea while we were there.
A couple of weeks ago he became quite lethargic and went off his normal food; a check up at the vet's showed that although he had a heart murmur which he must have had for quite some time there was nothing else wrong and he wasn't in any pain - at thirteen years old he was just naturally coming to the end of his life. There was nothing I could do for him other than give him whatever tasty food he would eat, take him out for very short walks and make sure he was always comfortable in his bed; at Christmas he got a new collar, a packet of the soft chew sticks he liked, and some freshly-cooked chicken for his supper. His last walk was a very slow one just a few yards along the street on Monday this week then he just lay quietly in his bed and I knew it was only a matter of time before he left me. I nursed him almost constantly on Tuesday and it broke my heart when he went to sleep for the very last time.
Sam may have only been with me for six short months but that doesn't make the pain of losing him any easier - if anything it makes it worse as we had such a strong and loving bond between us right from the day he came to me, strengthened by having been a big part of each other's lives in previous years. I knew this day would come eventually but I didn't think it would be so soon and it hurts like crazy; there's a big Sam-sized space in my living room right now and an even bigger hole in my heart which will take a long time to heal.
Sleep tight Sam, my special friend, I'll love and miss you always xx